Parenting
Beyond Fine – Opening the Door to Conversation with Your Teen
By
Sep 13, 2006, 21:46

(ARA) - "Fine,” "Nothing" – These popular one-word answers are common teenage responses when asked even the most basic questions by their parents. Many teens find it difficult to talk to adults and parents get frustrated trying to find meaningful answers to the questions "How was school today?" or "What are your plans for the weekend?"

Only three in ten adolescents communicate well with their parents, according to studies from Search Institute, an independent non-profit organization that provides leadership, knowledge and resources to promote healthy children and communities.

Communication is an age-old dilemma between teens and parents but one that can be greatly improved with many rewards for the whole family.

"Parents have a great deal of influence on their children's decisions, and there are many tangible, everyday actions parents can take to help them make the right decision," says Mary Ackerman, Search Institute spokesperson and author of Conversations on the GO.

Make a Difference

Search Institute has identified eight categories of positive experiences that any one has the power to bring into the lives of children. They’re called Developmental Assets -- concrete, common sense, experiences and qualities essential to raising successful young people.

"Simply but powerfully, Developmental Assets build the ‘good stuff’ in kids and help them resist the ‘bad stuff, ’” states Ackerman. "The more assets our children have, the more likely they are to resist risky behavior, such as using alcohol or other drugs, skipping school, or fighting.”

Get Beyond “Fine”

An important part of asset building is opening the lines of communication with teens. Ackerman's book, Conversations on the GO, provides parents with easy conversation starter tips to break down barriers with kids and help them to build up assets as they head into another challenging school year. Asking a few unusual questions can sometimes bring out stories a teenager normally wouldn't talk about. Clever questions to keep teens and grown-ups talking include:

* "If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? How would that change affect your life?"

* "If you could invent a holiday, what would it be? What traditions would it include?"

* "In what ways do you wish you had more freedom?"

After asking questions parents may just sit back and wait for the answer, but actually engaging children in conversation is vital in the communication process. According to Ackerman, "Asking follow up questions or providing open-ended responses are great ways to keep the conversation going." Some tried and true examples include:

* "That's interesting. Tell me more."

* "You've really thought about this, haven't you?"

* "Have you always thought this way?"

Parenting at your Fingertips

MVParents.com offers these and other tips to help build assets. The site takes Developmental Assets, which have been available to educators and community leaders for more than 15 years, and provides the tools and resources to parents to help encourage stronger relationships and positive experiences for kids.

Parents can learn more and sign up for weekly e-mail affirmations and tips from the experts at Search Institute at MVParents.com. The site was created by Search Institute in partnership with Coors Brewing Company to help promote healthy lifestyles for kids and adolescents, including not drinking alcohol.

Courtesy of ARA Content

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