Relationships
Create Lasting Love Without Changing Who You Are
By
Sep 20, 2005, 22:23

(NUI) - Do you ever think that your relationship could be happier if the other person would just change?

Many people feel this way about their significant others. But this may be precisely why so many marriages fail.

According to a recent study by Rutgers University, 33 percent of first marriages typically end within 10 years. Double that figure for cohabiting couples.

Author Marlane Miller says it's time for a new approach. She explains her method in her new book "BrainStyles for Lovers."

Typical counseling methods try to make people change their behavior. Unfortunately, these methods were derived from academicians and industrial psychologists whose behavioral theories have now been surpassed by new research in genetics and the brain.

Conversely, Miller's BrainStyles System is based on the premise that people really cannot change. Her research has shown that each person's brain is hardwired to behave in a specific way. In other words, not all brains think alike, and you cannot change the way your brain works.

"BrainStyles for Lovers" explains how people with different wiring can best get along. The book does not try to change a person's behavior. Instead it shows couples how to bring out the best in each other.

"Once you can identify your own brainstyle and that of your loved one, you will revolutionize your relationship with choices, not changes," Miller says.

Miller has proven that when people have insight into their own brainstyle as well as their partner's, there is less conflict and stress and far more happiness.

And the statistics agree. In a 20-year study reported in Science News, couples who took part in behavior counseling for their marriage problems had a divorce rate in excess of 80 percent. However, couples who participated in insight therapy had a divorce rate of less than 5 percent.

Miller has been a human development specialist since 1965. Her interpersonal communication techniques have been used and proven effective by companies such as PepsiCo, Procter & Gamble and Sears. These methods have also been employed at universities in the United States, Mexico and Canada.

For more information about Miller and "BrainStyles for Lovers: Create Partnerships That Change Your Life Without Changing Who You Are," go to www.brainstyles.com.

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