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Last Updated: Jul 2nd, 2008 - 21:15:22 |
(NC)-Parenting may well be the most difficult job that adults will ever undertake.
Here are five essential points that are important in childrearing and parenting. Keeping these in mind provides parents with valuable tools to use in the process of preparing the soil and watering the garden in which our children grow.
Point # 1: Most historical parenting methods are ineffective. Books, videos, CD's & DVD's abound. Many of these present "easy tips" for parenting, or describe scenarios in which, with a few well-chosen words all the troubles of the day are set to rest, and misbehavior will cease. There is no such thing as "easy" when it comes to parenting.
Point # 2: Parents parent the way they were parented. Most of us learn about parenting from our own parents, who were our first and most powerful teachers. Therefore it should not be surprising that we usually adopt an approach to our children that closely follows the approach our parents took with us.
Point # 3: The parent must take responsibility for the child. A healthy adult understands that children behave in all sorts of ways; it is a part of learning how to be in the world. Parents are generally willing to accept responsibility when their children behave well. However, it is equally important that they take responsibility when the child misbehaves.
Point # 4: The child is only as emotionally healthy as the parent. Your child will grow, improve and thrive only to the extent that you do. As a parent, you influence all aspects of your child's social and emotional development.
Point #5: All negative behavior arises from stress". Too much stress leads to fear, which is acted out many ways. Parents are far better equipped than children to regulate stress, and to help their children learn to balance the highs and lows that accompany wide variations in stress levels.
B. Bryan Post PhD, LCSW, author, speaker, and attachment and trauma expert will be making several appearances in Toronto this summer. For more information and special reports on working with children visit: www.postinstitute.com.
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