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Last Updated: Jul 2nd, 2008 - 21:15:22 |
Some teenagers needlessly suffer the pain of not feeling good enough. The pressure our teens face in today's world is relentless. It is very difficult to feel as though you don't fit in with your peer group, and teens who feel this way will try constantly to change that. They usually go about it the wrong way.
It is normal for teenagers to go through a period of insecurity, it is a learning phase, we all have gone through it. But you can do some things to help your child feel more confident and self-assured. Here are a few ideas you can use to try to help your teenager get through this difficult time.
1. Encourage your teenager to grow, both mentally and socially. Try to get them involved in school clubs, and after school social activities. Look around for groups that deal with your child's interest. You can help nurture your child's strengths and enable them to develop a more confident outlook.
It will be more enjoyable if your teen is interested in the subject of the club or activity and it will help them learn more about their interests and themselves too. It will help build confidence in a new area of learning.
2. Be aware. Most teenagers don't like to ask for help, especially when they need it the most. You should pay close attention to your child's reactions and to their responses. If you think your teenager need help, but won't ask for it, wether it is out of fear or embarrassment, why not just offer it to them.
Always keep the channels of communication open, and don't berate their feelings. Show them you love them, and are concerned as a parent. Always trust your intuition.
3. Build trust. A parent can sometimes interfere or overreact to the situations their teenager may be involved in. Make sure you have an open door policy, one where your child can tell you anything without fear of punishment. A loving parent is so much easier to approach than an angry one.
If your teenager fears your judgements, or punishments, they will not feel you are able to understand their problems. Show and tell your teen that you are and will always be there for them if they need to talk to you. Create a trust pact with them to let them know you understand what a difficult time this is, after all, you have been there yourself.
It's funny, but many people think, if only I were back in school again. But sit and try to remember the harsh times that you had during your childhood, and teenage years. Remember how cruel other kids can be?
Remember there were not just good times, but hard ones as well. If we really think about it, our teenage years were very stressful!
4. Listen. Keep your mouth closed, and your heart open. If your teenager trusts you enough to sit and talk to you about their personal matters and their feelings, you should feel honored.
It is never an easy thing for anyone to reveal themselves by opening up to another person. Always be available to listen to your teenager, and to support them. Try never to jump to conclusions, but allow your teenager the opportunity to talk to you honestly without fear of punishment or rebuttal.
You can bridge the gap between trust and fear by doing this wholeheartedly. Love is the answer to most obstacles you meet in parenting.
Most important of all, be understanding, and be willing to forgive all things. This teenager, who looks so grown up, is your child. They are very young and inexperienced even if they look quite grown up, even if they try to act quite grown up.
It is a scary time for them. Make up your mind and heart to not pass judgement upon your child, or to blame them. Let your teen have a chance to talk to you, to explain why they think or feel what they do. If your teen is sad or feeling down about themselves, give them an big boost of confidence. And don't forget a big hug and kiss too!
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